What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What are some mind-blowing facts that sound unreal but are actually true?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why can’t conservatives accept the fact that they are stupid?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

My dog is 2 weeks old. He's not eating, moving and always sleeping and I can't take him to a vet. What should I do?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How come I can't stay sober?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

TEXT:

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.